She's JV to your varsity
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
