I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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