I cannot find my penis.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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