Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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