its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize