seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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