Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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