Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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