Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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