No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize