I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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