Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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