do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I will be naked everywhere
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize