So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
