what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My balls are so social today.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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