my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You can't just leave with hair like that
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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