nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
