walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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