Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
