just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
