What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize