So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
