We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
