I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
More tranny stories later!
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
