Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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