Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
