My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
