Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
