I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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