it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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