you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
