I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sorry about my life...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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