is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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