dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
