dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
