Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize