This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
