you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
