I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Be still, my beating vagina.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize