The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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