dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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