I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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