I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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