We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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