But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Randomize