I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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