I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
