But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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