I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
