Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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