so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
