He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
