Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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