Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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