she was so not down for the gang bang
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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