A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
