I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
