dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
